“It ain’t easy livin’” —Jane’s Addiction, “Ocean Size”
Jane’s Addiction videos on Sunday morning. This is like goin’ to church for me, y’all.
Jane’s Addiction: “Ain’t No Right” live
Well, that didn’t work. But you can copy the url into browser, if you’re not too lazy. The throwing of the Birkenstock at the end of the video is well worth that extra effort, I promise you.
Oh! I fixed it! Thanks, youtube.
“But how do I tell what is oppressive sexist junk laid on me by social expectations and what is powerful femme expression that comes from my core?” a young woman asked me after Jill Barkley’s FemmeGender session at Translating Identities Conference at University of Vermont. She had appreciated my contributions to the discussion and wanted my view.
“That’s the whole point of femme,” I told her, “the process of figuring that out. That’s how you claim your own personal gender identity past stereotypes and unconsidered assumptions.”
– Callan // FemmeStruggle (via oscillating) Via sylvia and her fig treeThe one thing that everybody wants is to be free… not to be managed, threatened, directed, restrained, obliged, fearful, administered, they want none of these things they all want to feel free, the word discipline, and forbidden and investigated and imprisoned brings horror and fear into all hearts, they do not want to be afraid not more than is necessary in the ordinary business of living where one has to earn one’s living and has to fear want and disease and death…. The only thing that any one wants now is to be free, to be let alone, to live their life as they can, but not to be watched, controlled and scared, no no, not.
– Gertrude Stein, September 1943 (via bohemea) Via BohemeaHere’s a really interesting video with Meiko talking about why he decided to stop taking T. It provides a different side of transition than most of the youtube videos I’ve seen from trans guys which tend to be post-op or chronicling their process taking T. Meiko describes how taking testosterone ultimately made him more dysphoric, as it focused his attention on genital difference between cisgender men and himself (even if he were to have bottom surgery.” I appreciated how he emphasized that his decision to stop didn’t negate his trans identity and that his time on T had shaped his body in certain ways (lower voice, facial structure, etc.) that made it more possible for him to live masculinity than it had been before he started. Overall, a very eloquent video about one trans guy’s experience with T that shows a side of transition I think isn’t well represented. “My reason for transitioning wasn’t just to become male. The reason was because I wanted to feel comfortable. I wanted to feel like I could just survive in the skin that I have. And T stopped helping me feel that way.”
Via Your Y Chromosome Ain't Got Nothin On Me
Miles, a Minneapolis FTM poet performing at a recent poetry slam
OH MY GOD this is SO BEAUTIFUL
I’m a huge lover of performance poetry anyway, and I’m a total geek about names (I already know what my children will be named, too), and this poem just… Oh my God. So beautiful. Do yourself a favor and listen.
Via Waking is Bravery
Resurrecting Anarchy as a Personal Approach to Life
Stop thinking of anarchy as just another “world order,” just another social system. From where we all stand, in this very dominated, very controlled world, it is impossible to imagine living without authorities, without laws or governments. No wonder “anarchism” isn’t usually taken seriously as a large-scale political or social program: no one can imagine what it would be like, let alone how to achieve it— not even the anarchists themselves.
Instead, think of anarchism as an individual orientation to yourself and others, as a personal approach to life. That’s not impossible to imagine. Conceived in these terms, what would anarchism be? It would be a decision to think for yourself rather than following blindly. It would be a rejection of hierarchy, a refusal to accept the “god-given” authority of any nation, law, or other force as being more significant than your own authority over yourself. It would be an instinctive distrust of those who claim to have some sort of rank or status above the others around them, and an unwillingness to claim such status over others for yourself. Most of all, it would be a refusal to place responsibility for yourself in the hands of others: it would be the demand that each of us not only be able to choose our own destiny, but also do so.
formspring.me
How do you see yourself “doing femme?” Put another way, how do you see yourself announcing your femme identity to the world?
Very gradually. I don’t think I’ll announce it to the world, for one. This is all about me coming into my own as the person that I am, and I’m not sure exactly what that person looks like, because hir expression has been very much inhibited by the culture in which we live. And although gender identity is a definite aspect of my stunted personal expression, it is by no means the only part of who I am that has been repressed and oppressed by a wasteful, greedy, genocidal, and largely insensitive society. Full expression of who I am is a process that has, is and will continue to be measured in years or decades.
If I separate myself into gender-binary aspects, my feminine aspect is the dancer and the nurturer. My anger at the various injustices of the world I place on the side with my testosterone, which I think is why I am very resistant to much of the righteous anger I see expressed by some transwomen: to clarify, I associate anger with my own maleness, and when I come to twitter and formspring and other places as chpriestess, I come with the intention of shedding that maleness so that the female me can be expressed.
Now that’s all gender binary stuff, and although very useful for conceptualizing different aspects of my personality, none of that is practical for expressing my full identity. Again, I’m not exactly sure what that looks like at this point, and I think, genderwise, it will remain fluid for quite some time. That said, I’d like to find some real world community where I can be comfortable wearing skirts and otherwise expressing my feminine aspects. Announcing my feminine identity to the world will be done in small, gradual ways like that. I don’t think abrupt, definite, concrete changes would be very wise for me, and if I were to renounce one gender identity and replace it with another, I think I’d continue to be confused, and on top of the confusion, would have a whole new set of difficulties to deal with. I know that I don’t have the energy for that, so for me it’s small, tentative steps.
Thanks, voz. Thinking about and articulating an answer to this question has allowed me to reify some thoughts and emotions that I’ve been struggling with this week.
About me
I AM a transgender femme artist stirring lazily in this world of illusions and confusion. I HAVE come to dance away my tears. I WILL bloom. I WILL love the way a mother loves, for I AM maternal, I AM a woman, and I AM a lover. I AM beautiful and whole, full and even too full, so full I've got reflections glittering out of the margins I'm centered in. WATCH OUT, o ye wary and conservative, for I was raised in your town, and though I'd rather not visit and just be done with all y'all, we're connected, we're all in this together.
